Hard Times

New choices about how we experience hard times

Tonight I am thinking of a friend who is beset by a cocktail of challenging planetary energies that are manifesting in life-defining pressures. His struggle reminds me of some of mine and how I have learned how to dance with these energies more gracefully over the years. Here I will share some of my learnings that I am still learning. Read on for how you can transform your experience with “bad times,” “the blues,” “deep shit”; they have many aliases. Continue reading “Hard Times”

On Physicality and Aging

Goals are about destinations, not journeys.

Today I am reflecting on my motivation for “working out” and being active, and I suspect that these reflections may help you rethink how you relate to your body as they have me, so here we go.

Here’s some context: since entering “middle age” several years ago, I have had many conversations and other interactions having to do with people’s motivations and attitudes toward their bodies, and many of these emerged during ethnographic research engagements in which I studied people online. Most of the stereotypes and ideas I encountered are not useful to me because they miss the whole point of what the body is, what its significance is. So let’s follow this and see where it leads. Continue reading “On Physicality and Aging”

Why I Rarely Listen to Popular Music Part 2

Since writing Part 1, I have reverberating in my head that the love I experience now is completely different from the love I had experienced before my Dark Night journey, that love which resonates with popular love songs’ depiction of love. I find this difference to be surprising and simple, yet profound, so here I’ll contrast the two further. Continue reading “Why I Rarely Listen to Popular Music Part 2”

Why I Rarely Listen to Popular Music

You may have noticed that the lion’s share of popular songs is about romantic love, whether rock, pop, folk, R&B, or other. For much of my life, I sang along with them, lamenting my own string of romantic windmills. The fact that I’d studied the development of romantic French literature and psychology did little to dissuade my own desire for the romantic ideal that pervades popular songs. The beloved is presented as an object to be adored, sought, kept, rejected, or hated, all too oft in that order. It’s a preoccupation of songwriters (and song buyers ;^), seemingly regardless of language or culture.

Then my Dark Night process changed everything. One of its surprising side effects has been a transformation of what I experienced as “love.” I love much more intensely than ever, but it’s a completely different thing than it was before, and here I’ll try to explain it in case it is helpful to you. Continue reading “Why I Rarely Listen to Popular Music”