The smoke of the fireworks has wafted, the corks and empty bottles stowed, and we are poised to embark on a “new” year, according to the Gregorian calendar. Here I’ll offer some simple thoughts that may help you reframe how you approach 2021 and beyond.
I used to make a huge deal out of “new year’s” because I perceived it as some kind of proxy for “fortune” (luck, destiny). A new chance to make my way. Since my entire life has seen profound volatility, the idea of “fortune” was significant for me. From this context, I hosted and visited new year’s saturnalias of all stripes over the years. Some version of this happens in large swaths of the world.
How My Dark Night journey Has Changed New Year’s
Do you have an agenda for god or the universe?
I used to have agendas, and it was a huge part of my new year’s energy. I had dreams and intentions. During my Dark Night (of the soul) journey, one thing that changed for me is that I learned to have a real relationship with the universe. I developed an awareness of my existence within an infinite space in which Earth is situated, and I am situated in small parts of Earth. So I am part of my little parts of this immense whole. It’s like an infinite series of concentric circles. You have yours, too, and they are different although we share some levels since you’re able to read this. So I am aware of my smallness.
Another aspect of my Dark Night journey is my living outside Ego, my having one foot in Ego and one foot in Spirit, which transcends this incarnation. Ego is wrapped up in this incarnation; it is his life. Spirit transcends incarnations; it is the vehicle for my learning across incarnations. I don’t pretend to know the larger scheme.
So I used to have huge agendas for my self and the universe (the nerve! ;^). I had major earthly goals, so new year’s was pregnant with potential and ambition for me. And I learned, after many cycles of this approach, that it didn’t work for me. My whole attitude and approach to “fortune” (new year’s) ultimately created unhappiness for me and others in my life.
When I make “goals,” I unwittingly close my mind to possibilities that may present.
Once I started experiencing my current “stereo existence,” (one foot in Ego, one foot in Spirit) my incarnated life intention shifted away from Ego goals to Spirit goals, the latter being what I could learn to take on to my next incarnation. Consequently, I experienced earthly goals within a much larger context. Now I no longer have earthly “goals” because “goals” has agenda nested within it. Agenda was my ask/demand of the universe.
If I’m focused on learning things that don’t have earthly material aspects to them, earthly goals are far less pressing, and my life is much more relaxed. I observe that many of the high points of my earthly life so far have been surprising and unimaginable before they happened. Consequently, I have come to appreciate that the possibilities of “life” are far beyond my imagination or intellect (okay, Uranus is my chart ruler, so this may be more pronounced for me than for you). When I make goals, I unwittingly close my mind to possibilities that may present. If I am focused on my spiritual awareness and challenges, I am dancing with the universe’s energies, so I resonate with it more.
Doing charts has made this very clear to me. One’s natal chart is the blueprint of one’s spiritual journey for this incarnation. So by living my incarnated life within the context of the chart, I am less focused on earthly events and more on what I learn from them.
What This Looks Like
Demands are ugly, requests are more graceful—and likely to be granted.
Since I have dropped agenda for my earthly life, I am more curious because I am practicing ignorance. Since my mind is so small, I have little appreciation for the possibilities that may present. I am aware of what I want at the earthly and spiritual levels, but these wants are desires, they are not agendas or demands. This may sound like a nit, but the difference is immense: desire is something that I own that emanates from me, but it is not a demand or expectation. It is issued with humility. Do you see the difference?
This approach enables me to be more curious and grateful for my dance with the universe. So my life is not highly choreographed or planned; it is more improvisational. I am as passionate and desirous as I’ve ever been, but my desire is contained within a larger pool of ignorance and gratitude. I have let go of “knowing” what is best for me. If I have an agenda, nested within that is that I know what is best for me. When I think of that in the context of infinite possibility, it is obvious that my “knowing” is an illusion.
However, if reframe my desires away from intention and agenda toward hopes that are grounded in my ignorance, I am more vulnerable and open. I am a better partner for the universe. Demands are ugly to one’s other (person, entity). Requests are much more graceful. Think about the difference between demand and request. What’s beautiful here is that they can net the same result, but request is much more likely to be granted.
Think about the energy you put into the universe. “Demand” is agenda, urgent, egotistical, insisting on power over the other. Request is more humble. Your other will be more likely to consider and grant a request.
None of us has the power to determine results from our interactions with god or the universe. When I am insistent (I lived most of my life like this), I am boorish, my energy is ugly. When I have humble hopes and requests, my energy is more calm and lovely.
Think about your interactions with people. When I demand, if I have sufficient power over the other, s/he will grant my demand, but s/he will harbor resentment toward me. If I request the exact same thing, I defer to her/his discretion, and s/he will feel honored by my deference. And the content of the demand and request are the same. The difference between the two is the social wrapper around the content.
So, with all this, I wish for you a fruitful new year. May your requests be granted, and if they are not, may you have the grace to see beyond your requests to perceive what you can learn by not having them granted.
I am convinced that our learning is the only thing we take with us when we pop smoke from this incarnation.
Blessings to you from me.